Scatterings

I didn't die. I haven't been in a remote African village. I haven't been held hostage for the last two months. And I don't offer any cooked up excuses for not posting since August 8. That's over two months ago! What have I been doing?

Getting busy again. Finding a rhythm. Building relationships. Planning teen gatherings. Creating blogs. Driving to Caldwell and back.

I fleetingly thought many times in August, September, and then October that I should set a goal of posting once a week. Ha. It's not implausible, just not practical with the way I have organized my life lately. Evenings are sacred, although zoning out to an episode of The West Wing (my recently-finished favorite) or The Blacklist (my new craze) isn't sanctified spending of time either.

My thoughts are scattered as I reflect on the past few weeks. Friends returned to seminary life. I did not. That struck me for many days as I watched their Facebook posts and ached slightly for the community I left behind, the fraternity I knew, the structure I found pleasantly challenging, and the life direction I chose. My decision to take a year off was a good one. Regret is not helpful or applicable here. Yet with every change come twinges of grief. The paths of my seminary brothers and classmates diverge at different points. Mine diverged from most this year. In the larger picture, I must remind myself that one year of parish involvement in my home diocese with solid spiritual direction is quite helpful. I am enjoying myself, feeling useful, growing in relationship with the Lord and the Church, and continuing to ask the life-altering question, "God, what do you want me to do?"

Spiritual direction can prove a helpful aid when sorting through the layers of experience, desire, and need that shape the vocational call. I asked my former parish priest (and the previous Vocations Director), Fr. Jairo Restrepo, to be my spiritual director, and he has ably asked me questions that are reflective and substantial. The primary question Fr. Jairo is helping me to answer is this: Can I be satisfied with a lifetime of priestly ministry in the Diocese of Boise? Is this how Jesus is specifically calling me in this life?

I continue to explore and reflect. As I do, hopefully I will be more motivated to share the experience with you on this blog. May we not shrink from our purpose!

More on this photo in an upcoming post. Oh the suspense!