Healing

“Do you want to be well?”

Jesus asks the sick man this question in today's gospel reading. He addresses a man who had been ill for 38 years. 38 years. He is presumably elderly (or at least looks elderly based on having an illness for such a length of time). He lives in perpetual quarantine with other "ill, lame, blind, and crippled" people separate from greater society. So, yes, Jesus. I think he wants to be well. Duh.

Sometimes God asks such obvious questions: To Adam and Eve as they hid after the original sin: "Where are you?" To Elijah after the great prophet fell into a lustful life with Jezebel: "What are you doing here, Elijah?" To the disciples after they had dropped everything to follow him for some time, witnessing his miracles and teachings more closely than anyone: "Who do you say that I am?" To Peter after he stripped himself and hopped out of the boat in jubilation to swim to Jesus: "Do you love me?"

God knows the answers, of course, being omnipotent and omnipresent and omniscient and omneverything. Duh. The teacher asks of the student questions to which he possesses answers. The questions have obvious answers, but they point to a lack of self awareness. The simplicity of the questions is the very heart of our call to discipleship.

Where are you?
What are you doing here?
What do you say that I am?
Do you love me?

And today's question: Do you want to be well?

Jesus asks me that question repeatedly as I fall and fail and stumble and backslide, fumbling to find Him again. As I examine my conscience, as I reflect on my day, as I write my shortcomings, as I wait in line Saturday afternoon, as I pray for contrition and awareness of sins, as I gently shut the door and hear the "Occupied" light click on, as I kneel, as I lay out my darkness, as Christ meets me in the light, as His hands raise through the priest, as the words of absolution ring, as I offer thanks and salutations, as I gratefully fulfill penance, as I enter into the world afresh, as I approach the communion table renewed.

"Do you want to be well?"
"Yes, Lord. I do."
"Arise. Take up your mat and walk."